At first, it’s one sneeze. Then you realise they are sneezing every few minutes. A feeling of dread starts to take over. ‘Oh no’, you’re thinking. ‘They are getting sick….again’. A cascade of thoughts come flooding:
‘This means no Kita/school tomorrow. But I can’t miss work tomorrow of all days. I need to cancel that appointment. I hope his/her brother/sister isn’t coming down with this too. Oh no, why is this happening again?’…and off you go, spiraling in negative thoughts.
I’ve been there. In fact, we’re only just getting over our latest Kita-cold. As I’m writing this blog post, I’m waiting for the first signs of a sore throat to appear. As usual, I’ll be the last one in the family to catch it, after caring for everyone else for several days.
When kids are sick, all our attention naturally is on them. After all, they are the ones suffering. As with most things in parenthood, we forget about ourselves and underestimate how stressful and exhausting having a sick child can be.
Our routine is all messed up, we need to make last minute arrangements, we often sleep very little and of course, we are watching our little ones suffer, often unable to help. That is not an easy situation to be in.
Here is a list of things that I have personally found helpful.
1. Prepare for the autumn/winter cold season
- Badge cooking and freezing meals. If you don’t have a large freezer, you might want to think of buying one. Between caring for a sick child and doing home-office, there won’t be much time to cook proper meals. However, it’s important that you eat well. Save yourself time by spending a Sunday a month cooking large quantities and freezing portion-sized meals. When your child gets sick, simply take a meal out of the freezer. Done.
- Writing down a list of people or services that can be helpful when those days arrive. Are you in need of a new babysitter? Get them to meet your child already now. Have you been wanting to test that new supermarket delivery service? Or a new restaurant that delivers to your door? Make sure you test everything in advance.
- Building your tribe, literally and metaphorically. Maybe you’ve been saying hi to that nice neighbor, but you’ve never invited them over. Don’t underestimate how helpful it might be to know that you can ask them for help if you need to. Maybe you’ve got other parents in the neighborhood that you can lean to ( Mello app can be great for getting to know some if you don’t already). Also, if venting is what you need, decide who the person on the other end of the line will be.
- Stocking up on medicine. Most medicine can only be used for 6 months. Check your home pharmacy and stock up if needed before you need to urgently look for something when you really need it.
- Mentally preparing yourself. Those spiraling thoughts I described above? They are energy-draining, and not helpful. We all get sick in autumn and winter, and kids more so. It’s one of the many things we have absolutely zero control over in our lives. Expect it to happen instead of being upset that it did. It’s a very different stance that is going to save you precious energy that can be channeled where truly needed.
- Informing yourself about your company’s policy when kids are sick, especially for those of you who are newly back to work after maternity leave. Ask how flexible they are, also talking to any other colleagues that have children.
2. When that sickness kicks in, take care of yourself by
- Staying hydrated. It’s so easy to forget about our basic needs. If your child is sick, they should be drinking extra amounts of water. Do that with them. It’ll help keep your energy up.
- Resting when they rest, even if it’s just for 10 minutes or so. Staying positive, patient, and nurturing can be extra difficult if you are sleep-deprived.
- Letting go of chores. Focus on keeping things simple and doing only what’s necessary. It doesn’t matter if the kitchen is tidy and if the laundry is folded properly during those days.
- Taking turns. Where applicable, have one parent take the first half of the night and the other parent the second half.
- Giving your child a break from any rules. They probably won’t tidy up after they play. They will have more screen time than allowed. Being more flexible will do everyone a favor. You can also reinstate all rules once everybody is feeling healthy again.
- Remembering it’s temporary. Nothing in life ever stays the same. The light outside changes, seasons change, we change, relationships change, our bodies change…and the state of our health also changes. Before you know it, that fever will break, and that cough will subside.
Embracing Sick Days: Bonding and Lessons Learned
Most importantly, think of reframing sick days as a precious opportunity to bond with your child. You might not usually get as many cuddles. Enjoy them! Use those moments to express to your child just how much you love them.
In addition, you will be teaching them a great life lesson: that they matter, and that the person who loves them should be there for them when needed. This will teach them to defend themselves in any kind of future relationship where the other person isn’t treating them appropriately. They will also learn that they can and should take care of themselves when they aren’t feeling well.
I hope that this post has helped you gain a different perspective with regards to childhood illnesses, and feel better equipped to face them next time.
About Me
Annie Xystouris is a certified health coach that helps stressed out and overwhelmed mums feel calmer and fulfilled, and prevent burnout. She has two girls and has been living in Berlin for the past six years. Her own difficult experience of losing her mum at an early age and bringing two children in the world in a new city and in the middle of the pandemic inspired her to focus on supporting other mums. She believes that mums deserve to feel well and not have to wait until their children leave the home to do so. She offers one-on-one coaching services online. If you want to find out more, go to www.anniexystouris.com
– By Annie
Further articles from Mello:
–Discover Enjoy Berlin’s Kinderbauernhof: The 8 Best Children’s Farm
– Winter Activities for Kids in Berlin: 10 Cozy Indoor Spots to Explore
– Tierpark: A Perfect Day Out with Families
– Find The Right Connections With These Features In The Mello App
